Lazy man-children are killing womens sex drives, according to science

Women are turned off by men who don't pull their weight around the house, a new study finds.

Researchers from universities in Canada and Australia looked into the phenomenon of "man-children", which describes men who don't do their bit to keep a household in good nick.

This can range from conveniently "not noticing" that dirty dishes are piling up by the sink, to claiming they "don't know" how to do basic household tasks, leaving the responsibility to their partners, Vice News reported.

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In what should be unsurprising news, people who end up picking up their partner's slack tend not to find their lover's inability to complete basic chores particularly sexy.

In fact, a new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour journal found that this dynamic caused the partner doing all the housework to view their other half like a dependent child, rather than as an object of desire.

And with women carrying out an estimated 60% more unpaid labour – such as cleaning and childcare – than their male counterparts, it seems to be the ladies who are losing their libidos.

It shouldn't be surprising that cleaning up after your partner doesn't get most people hot under the collar.

But Emily Harris, one of the co-authors of the study, said when women have a lower sex drive, it tends to be attributed to other factors.

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She said that "there’s a few unspoken assumptions” about women’s sexual desire, including that "low [sexual] desire is caused by individual factors, like hormones and stress, or general relationship factors, like conflict and dissatisfaction.

“What these assumptions miss, is the broader context of gender inequity.”

Sari van Anders, another one of the co-authors of the study, said people find these assumptions comforting.

"It can feel more manageable to change your hormones, or try stress reduction techniques, than tackle structural inequalities," she says.

And it's not just scientists reporting this phenomenon – women are living it too.

One woman, referred to as "Leanne", said her sexual appetite was reduced to pretty much zero after she found herself taking on most of the chores around the house while living with her ex-boyfriend.

"Our sex drive completely died after six months of living together," she said.

"I couldn’t take him seriously anymore and resented my role in our relationship. I felt like his mum."

Leanne has since moved on and is in a much more equitable relationship, but she said the experience has left her questioning whether she wants actual kids of her own.

"I can’t imagine spending two-plus decades picking up after someone who doesn’t appreciate my labour," she added.

Writer Emme Witt, on the other hand, doesn't have to imagine as for a long time, that was her reality.

Not only did she find herself looking after her own children, but she also quickly realised she was raising a man-child, too, in the form of her ex-husband.

"Suddenly I realised that not only was I in charge of the housework, but also all the child-rearing," she said.

"I had to discipline our kids on my own – my ex would even steal away to the bedroom when they were acting out. It was exhausting."

Things are different for Witt now, and she enjoys a much more satisfying relationship with a man who does his share of the housework and child-rearing after she and her ex fell into a sexless marriage.

"Now that I’m with a totally capable man, I’m eager to have sex with him, because I’m filled with affection for how he treats me," she added.

"I see him as a bonafide grown-up, not a boy I have to take care of."


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